Sunday, May 04, 2008

48 Days Without Chocolate and Counting...

Hi, my name is Susan (hi Susan), I am a chocoholic.....

I was born a chocoholic, who knows, my mother may have put chocolate milk in my baby bottle when I was yet an infant (it is not outside the realm of possibility). As a child I did not care for any other candy aside from something chocolate, no cookies or cakes either. Donuts needed to have chocolate icing, hot chocolate & toast was my favorite breakfast item (ya, I know...). My entire life has been filled with chocolate obsession. It is given to me for Christmas, birthday and Valentine gifts because everyone knows it is my heart's desire. My husband was programmed to arrive home with it if he knew I had a bad day, or was anticipating a difficult one ahead. It was, in some form, my favorite treat for movies, driving snacks, restaurant desserts, and the majority of the desserts I made at home. It WAS a huge part of my life. I say WAS, because on March 18, 2007 I gave it up. Today is my 48th day completely chocolate & cocoa free - not a chip, speck, dusting or sprinkle. Maybe you're wondering why I did such a thing? It was just time.

I have been very aware for some time how chocolate ruled my moods and how dependant psychologically I was on it... it functioned as a crutch, a chocolate fix for me was just that. I eluded myself by thinking I was doing much better by giving up milk chocolate and going only with the "healthier" dark variety over a year ago... but ya know what, despite the all the new stuff you read everywhere about how good it is for you, it really is not when you read the "real" research on it. I knew it all along, I just needed a kick in the pants to get me to take the plunge into chocolate free living, something I had never in my entire life experienced. Well, I got the kick I needed when I discovered that my chocolate lover was a contributor to my messed up hormonal problems, causing me to turn into Mommy Dearest for about 7-12 days a month. That was the incentive that I finally needed to stop my nasty love affair with chocolate/cocoa of all forms. So I gobbled up the remainder I had in the house on March 17th and went cold turkey the next day.

The first few days were challenging and it was obvious to me I would need to retrain myself in many ways. No more bite of chocolate when stressed, when kids are on my nerves, when needing a quick pick-me-up and so on. So much of my chocolate use (abuse) was incredibly habitual. THAT was the hard part to break out of.

Overall things have been going okay, Easter was weird at my aunts - everything was chocolate (except the pork...grrrr). I am continually amazed at how chocolate is EVERYWHERE! I dare you to try to go without it for awhile and you will see how difficult it is to get a snack, dessert item, nutrition bar, etc without it staring you in the face - it is astounding. The number of other options are meek in comparison. I would say my hardest battle with it was just recently when we had our end of year homeschool co-op production. We all made brownies to bring for afterwards (including me - and NO I did not lick the batter bowl or spoon) plus the group purchased a ton of brownies from a bakery. At the end of the night there were a ton left over that needed to be wrapped and frozen for upcoming events - guess who got that job?? Yours truly had to handle and foil wrap over 100 brownies that looked soooo yummy, some with frosting, some w/o. And of course I had to bring home my personal ones that were left over, much to my kids great joy & delight. They are still in my kitchen...they were calling to me bigtime yesterday, but today they have lost their power over me, so their voice is now silent. I have not succumbed to the temptation! Whew!

Ya know, I have given up ALOT of food in my lifetime. I came from an eating disorder background where food controlled my life, and with God's help I have really turned that situation around. Today I am a vegan (no meat, dairy or eggs), but I also do not drink coffee, pop or carbonated beverages, eat junk food (chips, candy, etc), I don't use white sugar or flour in my house (I'm an all whole grains, natural foods, raw veggies, sprouts, and so on... you get the idea kind girl). My last dietary vice was the beloved chocolate. I feel good giving it the boot.

Will I be able to remain chocolate free forever? I do not know, but it is nice to know that I can control it, instead of it me. I don't have a desire to invite it back into my life, so for now I'll keep on with the carob and some of my other new found yummie snacks....

Wish me luck and continuing success!

My NEW snack/treat favorites:

Mary's Gone Crackers & Hummus (homemade or Sabra)

Pretzels and Mustard (especially horseradish mustard)

Newman's Ginger O's Cookies

Soy Delicious Carob Peppermint Frozen Dessert

Herbal Teas, favorite is Good Earth Original w/o caffeine

Parsley & Oranges Blender Drink (lots of fresh parsley, whole peeled oranges w/o seeds, & OJ - {or water & frozen OJ concentrate in place of OJ})

SUSHI!! - can't get enough!

1 comment:

FMVeg said...

*fainting dead away*